Now that the South African tourism industry’s big Indaba is over, SA Blog has a proposal for the heavyweights who called for creative solutions to get tourists to increase their spending and lengths of stay during visits here. In short, it’s time for South Africa to start taking advantage of the 2010 World Cup right now.
In keeping with local tourism’s love of routes – we have wine routes, whale routes, garden routes, whiskey routes, and more – SA Blog proposes a sparkling new 2010 World Cup Route! Football fundis keen on getting up close and personal with South Africa’s “Road to 2010” could book an exclusive experience that would take them through the wormy heart of the grand event during its planning stages, and provide a chance to meet some of the fascinating characters behind the scenes – or in front of them, as the case may be – plus possibly help them sharpen their curiously long knives. Sounds great, no?
In SA Blog’s vision, the route begins in historic Cape Town, the Mother City, also known as the Mother of all Political Bunfights City. First stop: the Civic Center, where the current Mayor, Helen Zille, is giving everyone heart attacks over whether, and where, the city’s planned super stadium will be built. After a quick, wordless staring contest (she always wins), guests will be whisked off for nine holes of golf at the under-threat-of-extinction Metropolitan Golf Club (a possible stadium site), followed by a braai (bbq) with the local vagrants of the long-abandoned Culemborg district, back of the city dockyards, (another stadium-site contender). On the menu: delicious charred giblets and papsak!
From Cape Town, we proceed to the home of South African soccer, Soweto, and its enormous FNB Stadium (capacity: 80,000). Standing on the pitch of this hallowed ground, we imagine South Africa’s national soccer side, Bafana Bafana – practicing. (We have to imagine it, you see – but this could be fun!) Then we pad reverently over to SAFA house, where the monsignors of local soccer take their morning chocolate – men like Irvin “Iron Duke” Khoza, and Raymond “I Couldn’t Have a More Appropriate Surname” Hack. After a camaraderie-filled afternoon of knife sharpening, we return to FNB for a camp-out, and fall asleep to dreams of the thunder of Bafana boots (keep dreaming!).
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We conclude our tour the next day, joining Danny Jordaan – chief of the 2010 Local Organising Committee – in his personal helicopter, for a trip to a private game reserve near the Kruger National Park. There, a team of world-cup-doubting Thomases like RW Johnson has been assembled to take on Africa’s Big Five in a special “nature red in tooth and claw” fixture. The Big Five will play an aggressive 4-4-2 – two leopards upfront, a pair of lions flanked by two rhinos in midfield, three stout buffalo in the back, and a rogue male elephant in goal. There will be plenty of frothy Castle Lager (ooh, taboo!) to down while the happy, sated tourers listen to the screams.
Think of the good such a tour would do for South Africa’s image! Special, all-inclusive packages for SA’s new 2010 Route start from an incredible R17,995. Book now!